Thursday, 19 June 2014

Curious Explorer



I turned towards that scratched wooden fence, this time it didn't look frail & dusky. 
As those pair of eyes followed me till the end limits, I felt the strength of those fence. 
It is strong enough to obstruct the path of a curious explorer. 
Harsh enough to imprison an innocent heart's desire. 
Looking at it gave me a strange shiver, and I ran away fencing myself from reality.


for 5 sentence fiction on FENCED
Posted by at
Labels:

17 comments:

  1. Jaded Rebel19 June 2014 at 08:36

    in five sentences you have told such a gritting and compelling story!
    ps; i love that pic <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mysundrynotes19 June 2014 at 08:41

      thanks :) !
      p.s- the pic inspired me to write this 5 sentence fiction !

      Delete
  2. Tina Basu19 June 2014 at 10:27

    That's nice. Love the pic as well

    Tina from The Sunny Side of Life

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ranu 80219 June 2014 at 11:40

    It's a wonderful way of using the prompt, The ending was marvelous.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Agincourtdb19 June 2014 at 16:01

    Overall, I liked it.

    A couple concrits if I may...

    1) "looked" should be "look" (I think you adjusted the wording and forgot to change that, I do that all the time.)
    2) the comma between "eyes" and "followed" is extraneous and interrupts the flow of the sentence.
    3) "my own self" is awkward as it's decidedly less formal writing (as slang) than the rest of the piece.

    p.s. adorable dog! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mysundrynotes19 June 2014 at 21:12

      thanks Sir for the suggestions! i edited the post and from next time i'll pay attention to grammar ! :)

      Delete
  5. Unknown19 June 2014 at 19:45

    A nice story.
    Next time, make sure you pay a closer attention to the grammar as you have a few issues here and there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mysundrynotes19 June 2014 at 21:14

      thanks ! and from next time i'll make sure there's no grammatical error ! :)

      Delete
  6. Anonymous21 June 2014 at 05:19

    My dog would like to escape her fences too! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mysundrynotes21 June 2014 at 06:57

      hehehe! so your dog is a curious explorer too ;) !!

      Delete
  7. Donna B. McNicol21 June 2014 at 07:39

    Excellent, what else can I say!

    D.B. McNicol
    Romance & Mystery...writing my life

    ReplyDelete
  8. Unknown21 June 2014 at 10:10

    Nice story, very much a reality.

    ReplyDelete
  9. cammies on the floor22 June 2014 at 06:37

    Love the picture, added such a friendly nature to the poem. And the almost cautionary poetic feel is beautifully done.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Unknown23 June 2014 at 11:40

    I loved that picture. And what can I say about your writing it's incredible.

    unfettered-wingss.blogspot.in

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...